Witless Wonders
by Katherine RhubarbVT
Summary: It all started with a brilliant young tomato, a rich cucumber, a seemingly childish oath and a can of hairspray. How did VeggieTales come to be its full glory today? Cover image still to come.
1. The Beginning of the Beginning

**Hey, guys! Sorry for NOT updating for so long. I was... "busy". *watching Good Mythical Morning* So since I still can't decide what story to publish, Larry and Petunia's married life or Alice and the Prince, (since no one voted except a few faithful readers) I decided to get a fresh start. Now, for you Mythical Beasts out there, I know the title and prologue seems familiar... because it is inspired by Rhett and Link's Gutless Wonders. :) I know, I've gone overboard. But the story's actually a mix of Phil and Mike's real experiences, Rhett and Link's experiences and a few orginal segments. So, without further to do: Witless Wonders.**

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><p><strong>Witless Wonders<strong>

**Prologue**

In the great era of a time we like to call… just some time, two land marking events happened. Robert Lincoln Tomato III and Larry James Cucumber were born.

Larry came into this world weighing a couple pounds and seems to have no noggin. After all, he is a cucumber. Living in this world might be easy for the young lad for he was born with a silver spoon.

Bob came into this world weight twice as Larry and was all noggin. Unlike the cuke, however, Bob was born in the face of scarcity and despair. Staring from this point in life, problems piled on with his family. But that's another story.

Little did they know at this young age, they would become to be known as two of the greatest bloomin'… "geniuses" that ever walked on the face of this green, blue, brown—with hues of yellow—Earth… or at least that's what we all think.


	2. Bob the Tomato

**WARNING: The following content contains ****made up stuff****... **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**"Bob the Tomato"**

Bob was born a pro; a leader, a filmmaker, a servant. He was a pro. And still is. In fact, he was so pro that his Sunday School teachers were left wondering what this child was capable of. Despite having a messed up family, Bob worked out just fine. His mom divorced his dad when he was two and she remarried with a college friend when he was eight. Not only did he have to endure a stepdad but a stepsister. His two real siblings were nervous about this, too.

At school, he tried hard to ace every subject to make his mom proud. Not only through grades but with the way he behaved. Yup. Bob was good ol' "Goodie-Two-Shoes" kinda guy.

How the term "the Tomato" was coined was still a question to him. He had a full name. Robert Lincoln Tomato III. Maybe it was his classmates. Or his mom. Or some church mates. Who knows? He still had to carry that name now that that's how people know him.

Bob's good grades and good morals earned him the right to study at the most prestigious schools in the vegetable universe: the Vegetable University. And our story begins before it all began.

"Wow,"

That's all he had to say. He was just at the gate, but he felt like it was so much to take in. He was, at this very moment, the front of Vegetable University. Lucky him. The money it takes to study there is HUGE. But, being a valedictorian, he got there free of charge. Then he had to say it again.

"Wow,"

Bob looked down at the curb. A step on that curb is a step into that university. And Bob was going to relish it. He hopped on to the curb, feeling a little tingly inside… in a good way, that is.

"This is going to be the best day ever!" Bob declared.

He made his way through the crowds, got registered, got the tour (which was amazing) and now he had to take a rest. There was so much to take in.

"Robert Lincoln Tomato?" The receptionist guy asked with enthusiasm.

"Yes, sir." Bob nodded.

He handed Bob the keys. "Room 993. You know, your roommate is film major, too."

Bob perked up. "Interesting,"

He got to the door of his room, trying to take it all in, hoping his roommate won't be that… annoying bad boy that was going to interrupt his studies. Before coming in, Bob took in a deep breath.

"Oh, God. Please don't let this guy be annoying. PLEASE don't let this guy be annoying," Bob prayed.

He pushed the door… and there was no one. He switched the light on. All he saw were two beds, two study tables, two closets, two shelves, his belongings on the foot of his bed and large, expensive suitcases on the other; piles and piles of suitcases.

This was Bob first initial thought coupled with a nervous laugh: "Rich kid…"

He got closer to the suitcases and read the name tag.

"Hmm… Larry James Cucumber,"

He shrugged this off. How bad can his roommate be?

Now Bob never saw his roommate that day. Nor at night. All he remembered was when he was asleep, the door opened, someone came in, slurping something while singing a happy tune, got something from the suitcases and left.

Bob's eyes went wide when the door shut. He looked at the door fretfully.

"Hello?" Bob called out.

Seeing that there's no one, Bob went back to sleep. But who came in haunted him.


	3. Profanity

**This chapter may seem confusing. The scallions are actually the three scallions in VeggieTales. Why they are in the series will be answered at the last chapters. This is also based on how Rhett and Link met in 1st grade. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**"Profanity"**

On Bob's first subject, he chose a seat in the front, like a good student. His teacher came in on time. Unfortunately for him, he was seated right beside him was one of the worst people he'd meet in college.

"Hey, tomato, mind if I borrow a pencil?" A short scallion asked.

"Um… I don't see why not."

Bob handed him the pencil and the scallion stuck it into his mouth. Bob twisted his face in disgust.

"You know what? Keep it."

"Thanks," the scallion plainly said.

A shudder ran on his spine. What a rude guy. The teacher was giving a lecture and the guy at the back kept bothering him. He would just slide on him for no apparent reason. Bob told him couple of times to stop bugging him. But he won't listen. He became so annoyed and so distracted that he didn't realize that he broke the silence of the room.

"Mr. Tomato," The teacher said.

"Yes, sir?" Bob timidly asked.

The scallion got back to his position as if he was an innocent student.

His teacher walked up to his desk with a serious look on his face. "Would you mind keeping the peace?"

"Yes, sir."

One thing caught the teacher's eye. On the left side of Bob's table, there was a writing out of ink. The teacher's blood started to boil.

"What's this?"

Bob looked at where the teacher was looking. His eyes widened. That's a bad word. He couldn't have written that. That's a bad word. But it wasn't there when he got to that desk.

"You dare to vandalize school property with ink?!" The teacher scolded.

"But, sir, I-I didn't—"

Bob looked beside him. Of course. His scallion seatmate was trying to hold his laughter. All Bob can do at that moment was to scowl at him.

"Who else dares to tamper their desks?!" The teacher asked aloud.

"He did, sir!" A scallion from the back called out.

Bob turned around to see who spoke up. He looked like his seatmate. On the tall scallion's left was another scallion shorter than him. Both of them were trying not to giggle. Bob's seatmate winked at them. They winked back. Obviously, these three were brothers. And they loved to get people in trouble.

"I-I didn't do anything!" a high-pitched voice retorted.

The teacher came up to that desk and found another bad word written in ink.

"Since this is your first day, I will make your punishment less severe. But I will not tolerate this kind of behavior in class again. Am I understood, you, two?"

He looked at Bob and his other classmate. Both of them bowed their head in embarrassment.

"Yes, sir." They said in unison.

"Good. Class dismissed… except for you two. You are to color these."

The teacher handed them three sheets of paper each. They were all color pages of vegetables of their kind on a countertop, right on a chopping board. It was kind of morbid. But they had to. The teacher left the room and they started coloring.

Bob was almost done with his last page when he turned to look at his classmate at the very back of the room. He was more depressed than he was. He decided to help him out.

"Hey," Bob greeted.

"Hey," His classmate replied.

It was only then when Bob noticed who he was. He was a tall cucumber with one tooth in his mouth. He seemed a year younger than Bob.

"It wasn't your fault, wasn't it?" Bob asked.

"No. It was those annoying scallions' fault." The cucumber mumbled.

Bob chuckled. "Don't I know it? I have a seatmate as annoying as them."

"These pictures are kinda morbid."

Bob looked at the pages he had to color.

"Yeah. It's cruel."

"What kind of art teacher would make his students color these?"

"I know. I'm starting to question his style."

"Maybe he keeps taxidermies of dead vegetables in his house."

"Now you're starting to sound morbid."

The two laughed. The cucumber looked down to his work and realized he was done.

"Well, I go to go. My next class comes up within the next ten minutes and I still have to find my room."

Bob nodded. "Okay."

The cucumber settled his work on the teacher's desk then he turned to his classmate before leaving.

"See you around,"

"You, too." Bob said.

He shut the door and left. And they were right. It wasn't going to be the last time they will see each other.


End file.
